This morning I listened to Eric Zimmer’s The One You Feed Podcast, Episode 399 with Radha Agrawal on How to Find Joy and Community.
I was inspired by so much that was discussed: the emphasis on joy (in general), the concept of collective joy, how labels (even the ones we choose) may hold us back, and Radha’s recommendations on how to practice joy. Here’s a bit of my own summary, but I encourage you to give the episode a listen as well and see what you carry from it.
What is joy?
Joy is most simply defined as a feeling of great pleasure and happiness.
When Desmond Tutu and the Dalai Lama discussed this feeling more deeply in The Book of Joy, they agreed on eight pillars of joy: perspective, humility, humor, acceptance, forgiveness, gratitude, compassion, and generosity.
“Discovering joy does not, I’m sorry to say…save us from the inevitability of hardship and heartbreak. In fact, we may cry more easily, but we will laugh more easily, too. Perhaps we are just more alive. Yet, as we discover more joy, we can face suffering in a way that ennobles rather than embitters. We have hardship without becoming hard. We have heartbreak without being broken.” -Archbishop Desmond Tutu
Why is joy important?
We know that there is an overwhelming amount of loneliness and there are real costs of being alone. Loneliness can increase your anxiety, your depression, worsen your self-image, etc. Radha and Eric discuss:
Radha: Especially, in this country, we sort of celebrate this concept of the lone wolf. The concept of rugged individualism. The concept of chart your own course. So, it’s really nice to … be on a podcast that celebrates this concept of wolf pack, community connection, and how important collective joy is to really raise the vibration of our planet.
Eric: Yeah, a friend of mine… he told a story about when he was 18 he was riding the bus and there was this wise woman sitting next to him and she said - “Oh, you’re a lone wolf.” And he inside was very proud, like “yes that’s me I’m a lone wolf” - feeling pride. And she just turns around and says, “yeah well lone wolves are always sick.” He always tells this story as a moment of breaking through that ego expanse of “I stand alone” and realizing “oh wait, that’s not the way to be.”
Often when we start the practice of taking care of ourselves, we tend to focus on individual self-care practices that are healing or calming. A lot of wellness practices focus either on your mind or your body and few incorporate both. We need to incorporate both - be in our bodies, our minds, and our hearts. Beyond this integration, as opposed to healing practices that aim to help you settle down, joy can be a practice that is energizing and lifts you up.
You can certainly find joyful moments on your own, but the feeling of joy seems to amplify when shared with others. Belonging helps build our sense of joy.
What is collective joy?
First, doing your own work to release past traumas and change the way you show up in the world is important. This should not be minimized. One of the goals of practicing personal development is to figure out ways to better relate to others. So the first step of looking at your own internal, individual joy is important - but so is making connections.
We focus so much on mindfulness, deep self-understanding and sometimes may hyper-focus on this, forgetting that we are all interconnected.
Collective joy is about experiencing joy with a community. Joy inspires euphoria, awe, play, intelligence - even better immunity. Sharing experiences and making true connections with your community strengthens our bonds and our commitments to care for each other. There is deep healing power in feeling seen and connecting with others.
Radha says, “experiencing collective joy is really how we thrive as a species.”
Sometimes in order to experience collective joy, we may be asked to stretch outside our comfort zones. We may be asked to loosen our connection to various labels.
What’s wrong with labels?
Certainly some labels are helpful to assist us in understanding ourselves. We can see patterns. Typical responses. Sometimes we take on a label and it is helpful for a period of time and then we realize it doesn’t fit anymore. We may have histories of addiction and call ourselves “addicts.” We may have patterns of needing alone time and call ourselves “introverts.” We may even notice ourselves experiencing a lot of anxiety most of the time and take on the label of “anxious” as an identity. It’s important to be mindful of if/how these labels carry into your experiences of the world. For example, if you really identify as an introvert, are there some social events that you don’t even consider going to? Is the label helpful or is there a limitation in the label?
Sometimes our trauma can become our identity and that can take us out of a place of courage to expand beyond that experience. Are you feeding the past or are you feeding the future?
Radha says “We don’t realize how super-human we are. We don’t realize our superpowers” when we hold so tightly to the story of our limitations.
How can you practice joy?
Radha encourages us to “get out of being in our mind all the time.”
Dance - in addition to Daybreaker, Radha talks about in her joy series how they have a practice of dancing with a blindfold on because sometimes your eyes can start the self-judgement cycle. There’s a dancer inside of us. Let your self dance in whatever way feels good to you. Remember what it felt like to move as carefree as a child.
Breathwork - Breathwork is a rhythmic breathing technique that can bring feelings of clarity, alertness, and increased mind-body connection.
Movement meditation - Radha explains this as a meditative type of dance while listening to music.
Do these with other people!
I’ll leave you with an example of collective joy in Japan — rajio taisō, or radio calisthenics. These warm-up exercises were broadcast over the radio in Japan beginning in 1928 and continue to this day. Many people do the exercises either at home or together in parks.