While there isn’t a way to create more time, exploring what you say yes to and what you say no to can be invaluable. You may not realize your decision-making rules. You may be guided by internalized voices or self-rules that you’ve outgrown. You can reset your intentions and use your time more effectively - in ways that are in alignment with your values and goals.

Exploring when you tell yourself no:

Is there meaning underneath when you tell yourself, “I don’t have time” ?

Many people find themselves living fast-paced lives in a busy world. You may find yourself saying the following:

• “I don’t have time to date”

• “I don’t have time to make art [or other hobby]”

• “I don’t have time to relax.”

The next time you tell yourself “I don’t have time to…” pause and pay attention to your internal experience when you say this. Are there any body sensations? Our body might feel ease. It might also feel tension or tightness. Are there any feelings of longing (“I wish I had the time”)? Any feelings of fear (“Dating would be disastrous”)? It’s important to start to tune in to whatever happens after the “no” to see how you’re relating to that decision.

It can be completely true that you do not have time. I want to acknowledge this reality, too.

It might also be true that part of you is on defense, being highly protective. This part of you is keeping you busy because participating in that activity could bring up pain or discomfort.

“What do you mean? I would love to do those things!”

What would an unconscious protective part guard you from?

• Dating could make you more aware of your own loneliness or feelings of disconnection

• Making art (or reconnecting to any hobby) could create pressure to “make good art” and/or bring pain from having disconnected from something that was meaningful to you.

• Relaxing could be unfamiliar, inviting in stillness and allowing unexpected feelings to surface.

So there’s actually many reasons why you might be feeling protective.

You can feel wary, afraid, uncomfortable AND still move forward with your goals.

Make time for the things that truly matter to you.

Invite yourself to make time for what is meaningful to you. Set this as an intention. You can begin to make time in whatever way feels comfortable. Allow yourself to start with intention rather than expectation, leading with whatever feels joyful or exciting.

If you need support in reconnecting yourself to what matters, please consider therapy. Reach out and connect if you would like to see if we might be a good fit.